Friday, October 4, 2013

Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

Why did the chicken cross the road? So it wouldn't end up in these Pinterest inspired meals:

Original Pin #1:
http://thehealthierfoods.blogspot.com/2013/06/baked-garlic-brown-sugar-chicken.html
Baked Garlic Brown Sugar Chicken. That sounds amazing! Bam thought so too. 

"I have a husband who's particular, and unfortunately for him I have an experimental streak. When I couldn't stand the idea of yet another plain shake and bake chicken dinner, I turned to my pins. This seemed so easy, so foolproof that it was destined to go into our dinner rotation. How wrong." 

Pinstrosity #1:
"There are some things that are heavenly when candied. Nuts, fruit, heck even bacon candy is a thing. This was not. Despite following things to a "T", the result was inedible...even to my 2 year old with a stomach like a garbage disposal. Overly sweet, but with burnt garlic bits and barely done chicken."

"And worse was when it was time for cleanup. The black in the corners of my pan is easily the worst thing I've ever had to scrub battle in the cooking aftermath...and I've had some real divinity flops. I'll just say I felt every inch the cave woman trying to chisel it off the bottom of my glass pan and after a while the nerdling had to be taken to a different room to spare his young ears, because even good soaks couldn't loosen that nightmare."

"I still cringe when I scroll past repins, but I learned always to cover my pans with foil. I have not forgotten since."

"Abandon hope all ye who repinned here."

Bahahaha, Bam...you have a way with words and I love it. 

Original Pin #2:
From all over the web. I didn't find the original post. Some say it originated on Facebook. Some say it was uploaded straight to Pinterest. I have no idea where this originated from. 
Meg submitted this to us. Here's what's she said, "We've all seen this pin. '4-6 raw chicken breasts, new potatoes, green beans (fresh or canned-really any green veggie would work. Broccoli is good, too). Arrange in 9x13 dish. Sprinkle with a packet of Italian dressing mix and then top with a melted stick of butter. Cover with foil and bake at 350 degrees for 1 hour. Enjoy!' It has no link to a website, but everyone has pinned it."

Everyone's pinned it. Must be good right? I know I've fallen into that trap before. 

Pinstrosity #2:
"It was the most awful thing I have ever made.  I made it before I knew about Pinstrosity, so I have no pictures, but here's the story. I went and got four normal-sized chicken breasts and a can of green beans, but I used regular potatoes cut to the size of new potatoes since I hate scrubbing the little ones. The one I originally pinned said cook 45 minutes, but I knew that would not be long enough to cook chicken breast, so I already cooked it an hour like these instructions say.  I followed them to the letter."  
 
"Usually I shallow poach chicken breasts, and they turn out nice and juicy, but I know a world of people who just roast, so I figured this out be fine.  Well, the green beans were over cooked, but still tasted canned even though I rinsed them, the chicken was dry with a light film of butter on it, and the potatoes were as raw as can be!  NOT EDIBLE!  It was by far the worst thing I've ever made from pinterest.  Whenever I see a friend post this, I warn them never to make it.  I'm not sure how to fix a dish with three ingredients that obviously need to be cooked for three different times in the oven. AWFUL!"


Original Pin #3:
http://www.wicked-delicious.com/2010/12/simple-easy-winter-weeknight-dinner.html
Crockpot Honey Mustard Chicken. MMMmmmmm. 

Jamie (aka The Pinning Pirate) sent us in this Pinstrosity. 

"You might ask how it’s possible to ruin a crock pot meal because the crock pot does the cooking for you. It must be known that crock-potting is an art!"

"You have to make sound judgments about which of the 4 temperature buttons will be right for the size meat you have, the temperature of the meat when entering the pan of doom, and texture of meat you want when all is said and done. I think you at least need to have taken statistics, calculus and physics to get the perfect crock pot meal. For this meal, I'm assuming some higher level education science course was needed that I didn't take."

"I guess I was thrown by the "if you are looking for something simple, easy and scrumptious to make for dinner, this is it". It sounded like all I needed was a kindergarten graduation diploma."

"I followed the directions verbatim but ended up with charcoal."

Pinstrosity #3:
http://thepinningpirate.blogspot.com/2013/02/crockpot-honey-mustard-chicken-and.html
"After staring at it for a few minutes, Husband and I looked at each other and I said 'Well, there's always Taco Bell'."

"But being the trooper that he is, he poked it a bit and said that he would eat it. What's a little burnt chicken gonna do? So he chewed on it. As did I. No need to waste food."

"We did not eat the leftovers."

Original Pin #4:
http://www.daydreamkitchen.com/2012/08/baked-garlic-brown-sugar-chicken/
Same recipe as earlier...just from a different site. Two submission from the same recipe? Eek...that's not a good sign for this pin. 

Emma, Miranda, and Ashley decided to have a Pinterest party one evening where they made all the food items from their pins. They said everything turned out except for the chicken. Here's their story:

"First we had to figure out what sauteed garlic looks like. We had to retry that because it burned the first time. Once we got that down, we covered the chicken with the brown sugar/garlic mix and stuck it in the oven."


Pinstrosity #4:
"Living in the dorms, I hate it when the fire alarm is set off. And this was about to happen because all the brown sugar on the pan started to burn completely, so I am standing at the door holding it open waving my arms like a maniac, trying to get the smoke away from the alarm, while the other two girls were trying to figure out how to open the window and take the chicken out of the oven without setting off the fire alarm. Eventually we figured it out, but our next encounter was a different challenge. The chicken was still pink on the inside! We concluded that we should cut the chicken up into small pieces, and fry it. But because the brown sugar mix made the outside of the chicken brown, we couldn't tell if they were done. After a few phone calls to our mothers we poured some water on it for moisture and a piece of tinfoil to keep the heat in (we didn't have anything else to cover it)." 
"In the end it worked out, and it tasted fantastic  a little dry, but it was good. Needless to say it was worth the experience and I had some good quality bonding time with my friends."


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